Summer in the City!

Last weekend I travelled all the way to London to attend the Summer in the City Youtube gathering! Something that not a lot of people know about me, is that I am addicted to watching Youtube videos. I follow most of the big ones, and regularly watch their videos. Also if you read this blog regularly then you will know that I have recently started making gaming videos over on my gaming channel.  However I have also been making Youtube vlogs/sketches on and off since 2008. Making videos is certainly a passion of mine, and I keep restarting my channel, only to not be 100% happy with it and take it down again.

However being in London last weekend, surrounded by some of my biggest inspirations, I've realised that life is too short. and with that in mind over the next week I am going to be taking the leap into finally making Youtube videos regularly!

Anyway onto my actual time in London! We arrived on Friday night, and had a nice wander around the shopping center near our hotel, before attempting to catch an early night before the first day of the convention!

For some reason we both awoke at 7am on Saturday, and we were at the venue before 9:30, when the doors didn't even open until 11am!

Once the doors finally opened I made a beeline for a talk about gaming channels, and I actually ran into one of the Youtubers I really wanted to meet! I tweeted that I was too nervous to say hi and she replied:

After the panel I found the courage to go up to her and grab a quick photo, before wandering around the exhibition area!

 She's such a legend!

There were a tonne of interesting stands at the convention, including Guiness World Records, Save the Children, Disney Infinity (and other games), and this F1 stand: 

However it was Youtube themselves that had the most interesting exhibition. There was a free smoothie bar that looked like a London bus:

A beach, complete with deck chairs and sand castles:

And a crazy photo booth with a tonne of props:

We had a ball of a time on Saturday, and at the end I even managed to run into Tomska! (The legend behind the ASDF movies)

Literally so starstruck!

I also ran into a pretty 'old skool' Vlogger that I used to watch ALL the time, in fact he was my main inspiration for starting to vlog when I was younger. And even weirder, he actually went to uni with someone I went to school with! It was certainly funny running into him, as a lot of the younger 'fangirls' didn't recognise who he was! Anyway my sister snapped us together:

whataboutadam, A beautiful irish gem!

Sunday was even more crazy that Saturday, and we spent the most of the day with our two friends Hannah and Aimee, and we managed to meet a fair few people!

 I can't believe I met Charlieissocoollike! 

 Liam Dryden is such a gent!

 Lukeisnotsexy. Or as I like to think, Lukeismostcertainlysexy!

 Tish and Hannah having a bit of a moment!

I was seriously fangirling over meeting the guy in the photo below, he is such a fabulous guy, and he makes me laugh so much!

 Me and the FABULOUS Tyler Oakley!

 Tish ran into makeup guru Emma Pickles!

 I managed to track down Cherry Wallis! She is such a beaut!

And FINALLY I ran into TimH, who is my new fav film-maker!

Overall it was an amazing weekend and it was totally surreal to be rubbing shoulder with all my favourite Youtubers! I know they are real people, but having watched these people for a long time, it was surreal to say the least! Especially when we were eating in Nando's on Sunday night and Meekakitty, and Nanalew walked into the Nando's we were in... TOTALLY WEIRD! But also super cool!

So as I said above, I am going to start being more serious about Youtube, and I'll be posting more about all that very soon! Hope you enjoyed this photo heavy post!

UPDATE: 22 Before 22 List!

So seeing as it's about 6 months until I hit 22, I thought it was about time to review my '22 Before 22' list! So here is my list:

1. Go on holiday without my family (Outside of the UK): This is something that I don't really see realistically happening this year. However, this weekend I am going to London for Summer in the City, which I have ALWAYS wanted to go to. Also I might be going to Abertoir again this year with my friends, so I'm still doing pretty well, EVEN if I'm not going to get out of the UK this year!
2. Make an item of clothing: This is something that I have changed my mind about for now. Its still something that I definitely want to get into, but realistically speaking, I just don't have the time at the moment.
3. Write a script: This is one I started. For one of my final year university modules I had to write Act one of a script. So I have part of one down, I'm not sure if I'll finish this one. We'll see.
4. Do the Race For Life: I didn't do the race for life, I forgot about it to be honest, and by the time I remembered, it was too late for me to really raise any kind of money for it. This is still something I want to do next year!
5. Make a Scrapbook: I did start this, I even wrote a post about it here. Since I've been home I haven't contributed to my scrapbook. Mainly because I know as soon as I go through my Uni photos I will cry!
6. Get a tattoo: I have changed my mind about this one for now. Maybe in the future I'll get a tattoo, but for now I'm pretty happy without!
7. Watch every film on my 'To Watch' list: I have started this one, but I have a LONG way to go, I need to get a shake on to be honest, you can check out my progress here.
8. Learn a new craft: This is one I still want to do, but I'm not sure what exactly this 'craft' is going to be...
9. Lose weight: Since being home I have lost 6Ibs, I plan to lose more! (we can hope)
10. Start making Youtube Videos: This is one that I am proud to say that I have started!!!! I am thoroughly enjoying it, and it is every bit as fun as I thought it would be! You can find out about my Youtube channel here.
11. Take more photos: This is something I have been trying to do, I'm not completely there yet, but I'm happy with my progress!
12. Walk my Dog more: Since being home I have been walking my dog more, but still not as much as I would like to be! So I'm going to be fixing that!
13. Work my way through my favourite baking book and see how far I can get: This is something that has not happened. To be honest I haven't unpacked my baking stuff since I moved home. There simply isn't anywhere for me to put it! So I've decided to take this one of the list, and then hopefully I'll be able to complete some of the other things on my list instead!
14. Read 5 Classic Novels: I have read one on my list of five so far! I still want to complete this, I haven't been reading classics, but I have still been reading a lot. Just more modern things. I hope to read at least three of my five before I hit 22.
15. Stay in Touch with my friends: This one is going ok! I speak to my two best friends a lot, I need to contact the others more to be honest. So something to work on here.
16. Play a sport: This is one I haven't yet started, however I'm hoping that I'll find something I can do. We'll see!
17. Move out of my mum's house?: I honestly don't know whether this is going to happen. There have been talks about some options... but nothing is set in stone yet. 
18. Have a radio show: This one actually became a bit of a possibility for me, but I don't know where this is going to go, so that's all I will say!
19. Listen to more music: This has actually been happening! I listen to the radio more, and my sister plays a lot of music, so I am actually managing to keep up with the charts! 
20. See more of the UK: Well I have been to Wakefield, and I saw another part of Wales! As I mentioned earlier I am going to London this weekend. Then in September I am going to Bristol for a week. So safe to say I've saw a little more of the UK than I would normally.
21. Write a letter to someone who inspires me: I still haven't done this one, but I am definitely going to do it. I just have to decide who to write it to!
22. Maintain my blogs!: I'm happy to say that apart from a few months after I moved back, I am managing to maintain my blog. When I originally wrote my list I had two blogs, since then I shut down one, to focus more on the other. So I'm doing ok I think!

So there you have it! That is how I am getting on with my list! Overall I'm pretty pleased with my progress, especially seeing as I forgot about this list for a few months!!

Let me know in the comments if you are doing anything like this on your blog! I love reading these kinds of posts!

My Instaweek #7

Hello all!

It seems like forever since I wrote my last Instaweek post, but here we are, so let's get going with it!

1. My nan's poodle Pippa had her fur clipped for the first time, and she looked seriously cute!
2. Cocktails at my mum's birthday! This is 'A Quick Nosh @ Viccie Park' 
3. I uploaded my first gaming video to Youtube! I'm seriously happy with how my Youtube journey is going so far!
4. Custom polish made for my by my best blogging buddie, Kerrie! Check out her blog here.
5. Pretty side bun, probably the first time I've worn my hair in a bun!
6. My new necklace, skulls and crosses, it's super cute!
7. Yes, I went and bought a One Direction lipstick, but only because I've been looking for a colour like this for so long!

So there you have it, my week on Instagram! Next weekend I'll be heading off to Summer in the City, the Youtube gathering in London, so expect a good few instagrams from me!!!!!!

Going Pescatarian (Again)

Yes, you have read that title correctly, I am going Pescatarian! Can I get a WHOOP?

As you may or may not know back in January of this year I went Veggie/Pescatarian for one whole month. I managed to get on just fine, and I didn't eat ANY meat at all. Which was very surprising to me, seeing as I seem to find it really hard to control what I eat!

During my time as a veggie in January I actually got into a lot of arguments with non-vegetarians. A lot of them didn't understand, and would argue with me about my choice. It was actually quite upsetting, at the end of the day it was MY choice to try it, and at the end of the day I wasn't hurting anyone! In fact during that month I cooked healthy meals 100% more than the rest of my time at university. Also not eating meat is going to mean that I can't have all my favourite takeaways. I am aware that more takeaway places do vegetarian/pescatarian options however I've tried some, and never enjoyed them!

So basically, I am on a health crusade. I want to be healthier, and hopefully lose a few pounds in the process. So for the foreseeable future, I am going to be pescatarian! The reason I am going to be eating fish as well, is because it's not normally something I would eat, but with meat taken out of the equation, I'm more likely to try some fish.

I'm hoping that I will remain strong, and stick this out. I've made it one month before, let's see how long I can go this time. Wish me luck!

I've finally done it!!

I have finally started making, and posting gameplay videos! I've been talking about doing this pretty much since my first year at university. In fact during my first year I mildly electrocuted myself whilst trying to set up a capture card on my old TV. Needless to say I gave it up as a bad job and vowed that I would not make gameplay videos until I had the right equipment.

When I first came home from Uni, I had a few extra pounds sitting in my account from my final loan, so I took the plunge and bought an HDPVR 2, and some Turtle Beach X12's, oh and a cheap microphone! After making my investments, and testing them for about a month, I have finally started posting videos.

Currently I am playing through Dead Space 2, I have also recorded 5 episodes of Dead Island and I will be posting them on alternate days, about every other day. If you want to check out my Dead Space playlist then please click here. Or click through here to go straight to my channel.

I would love if some of you would subscribe/comment/like my Youtube stuff. It really means a lot to me. I may not be pulling a lot of views, but I'm having fun, and it's certainly taking my mind off of everything that I'm currently go through!

Hope that some of you will enjoy this post :-)

Let me know in the comments who your favourite Youtube Let's Player is, mine is Pewdiepie :-)

Getting Personal: Admitting I Need Help...

This post is one that I have been really unsure about writing. I didn't know whether this was something I should really be sharing, but then I thought to myself, what if someone else is going through what I am going through. I want always to be a role model for people going through the same things as me. So here goes...

I've been suffering with depression for almost four years now, and I am finally asking for help. A fair amount of bad things have happened in my life, and they have all contributed to my feelings of depression. I thought I could cope with it all by myself, and that I didn't really need help, but I got myself into a really bad place on Monday, and I realised enough was enough.

It kind of started when I was 17, I was in a long distance relationship with a boy I met online. I told him that I was abused by my neighbor when I was younger. I wasn't ever going to tell anyone, but then my neighbour tried to groom my sister, and I knew I had to open up. I couldn't face telling my mum, so instead I handed her my laptop and my boyfriend told her. So in the coming months I went through police interviews, and the stress of a trial. I actually went to his sentencing, I wasn't afraid of him, and I wanted to see him pay. 

After that things were good, my long distance relationship ended, and I got into a relationship with someone who I had been in love with since I was 11. We had a really good relationship, but a lot of stuff happened between myself, him and his parents. That put added stress on us, and ultimately in the end it began to drive a wedge between us. We went to uni together but by then the stress on us had become too much. I was struggling with my first year at uni, I needed support from my boyfriend. Instead of supporting me, we argued a lot, and when we did he would often ignore me for days on end. I would spend those days crying all the time, and trying to talk to him. I was worried about what he was doing, and didn't want him to be angry with me anymore. Towards the end of our relationship I felt like I was completely alone. It was at this time that the suicidal thoughts came. I tried to commit suicide several times, I swallowed a load of pills and alcohol and just hoped that I wouldn't wake up. I took off to the seafront and thought of just swimming out into the middle of the ocean until I was too tired to swim anymore. Obviously none of these attempts worked. 

Then I met Ellie and Elliot. My two best friends in the entire world, and I started my radio show. Life got better. I wasn't 100%, I had a lot of days when I couldn't even get out of bed, I would spend the day crying and eating a tonne of food. This is where I put on most of my weight. I still had suicidal thoughts, but I never acted on them. I had a couple of run in's with my ex, which often ended with me contemplating death, and crying for weeks on end. I just about got through.

Then this May I moved back home. I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't realise how hard it would be. I argue with everyone a lot, I get very stressed out and angry, I have a full time job. I began to feel like the walls were closing in on me, and I never had time to just stop and be me. 

I was so excited for graduation week, I couldn't wait to get a whole week to feel like me again. It all started off great, and then I fell out with the two people that keep me sane. Ellie and Elliot. I won't go into why, but let's just say I was heartbroken, and it completely ruined my graduation. We made up just in time for the actually graduation ceremony, but this was all added pressure on me. It all continued to build up, and I just felt like there was no hope. I snap at my family all the time, I cry myself to sleep. 

Then my lowest day came. On Monday I spent the entire day planning to hang myself. I am not proud of it. It was like I was on autopilot, I was just planning it all out, writing letters to the people I had stuff to say to. It got to about 7pm. I looked down, saw all these letters I had just written, and I suddenly realised that I couldn't go on like this anymore. So I told my mum.

Tuesday I went to the doctors, I have been referred for Therapy, and failing that I am looking at anti-depressants. I don't feel any different, but at least now the people I love know, and they can begin to support me. I can move forward now. 

I guess I wrote this all out because I wanted to say, if you are feeling the way I am, don't let it get on top of you. Talk to someone, tell someone you trust, they will help and support you. You don't need to suffer in silence. 

I'll leave you with some lyrics from a woman who always makes me feel strong. Jessie J:

'It's OK not to be OK,

Sometimes it's hard,

To follow your heart,

Tears don't mean you're losing,

Everybodies bruising,

Just be true to who you are'

I am alive!

Yes dear readers! No need to worry, I am actually alive, I have just been horrendously busy this past month, and unfortunately my blog has suffered. However I have returned! I can almost feel the judgement coming from those who will read this, I know that when I myself see a blogger post an 'I'm Back' post I get annoyed. Normally I would just go ahead and pretend that I have never been away, however a LOT has happened that I feel we need to discuss! I'm going to do this in as short and sweet a manner as possible, brace yourselves.

1. My Job!

I've lost count of the amount of times that I have written 'my job' or 'full-time job' on this blog so far, but here we go again. This is probably the most major reason that I have been absent in the blogiverse. I underestimated just how tired work would make me. I get up at 6:45am, I'm at work by 8:30am, and I don't get home until gone 6pm. It's a LONG day for me. I get home, I eat, I shower, and I go to bed. I barely have time to watch Eastenders, and lord knows how I love that show! I do however, have options. One options is to deal with it, and another is to get a job with less hours. At the moment I am entertaining both options. I don't know what the next few months hold, but I'm hoping more free time is one of my options!

2. Youtube Plans!

Yes, once again I am making plans to make Youtube videos. Something I have wanted to do for a long time is Gameplay Commentaries, but I lacked the equipment and money to begin making them. After receiving my first paycheck I decided to take the plunge, and I've invested in everything I need to record! In fact as I write this I have just finished recording my first test video! It turned out pretty good. I'm having issues syncing up the commentary with the footage, but with practice I'll get better! I'm hoping to have my first videos up in the next few weeks. I'm going to be playing Dead Space 2 and Dead Island first off. So lots of death, and scary things.

3. Meeting the little man!

I finally got to go up to Wakefield and meet my cousin Jade's little baby boy! It was his first birthday in May and I was totally gutted that I couldn't go up and see him then. The last weekend in June I made the journey up to Wakefield on Friday night after work. Getting there was a massive kerfuffle. I missed my connection at Birmingham New Street due to A) my train from Reading getting in late and B) The train driver giving me the wrong platform. I ran round to platform 11, which was the one I was told by the train driver, only to discover it left from platform 9... I literally missed it by seconds. Cue an hour wait for a train to Derby, then a two hour wait at Derby for a train to Sheffield, AND a taxi from Sheffield to Wakefield (which thankfully cross country paid for). Needless to say after all that messing around I was knackered. It was all worth it to see little mush face in the end. A photo of him can be seen in the slideshow below! After all that, needless to say I will not be doing another weekend trip anytime soon.

4. Graduation Week!

Literally the week after my nightmare train journey, I had graduation week! A full week of getting wasted in a caravan with my best friends/adopted family. All leading up to the main event, my graduation. I wasn't going to add any photos, but I knew you'd want to see some, so here are a select few from that week!

It was honestly totally awesome! I had a lovely week with my friends, and truth be told it made me sad that I don't get to see them as often as I did back at uni.

So there you are! My four main reasons for being to busy to post on this blog! To make it up to you (kind of) I've made a slideshow of most of my Instagram photos from my time off! So enjoy that, and you'll hopefully be hearing from me very soon!